I have been thinking for a while about what my new post should be and I based it off of something I would love some feedback on. Since we know that interracial relationships are real and they do exist, the next question is why? Why do people place themselves in a situation that they know at times will be very challenging and even looked down upon by certain people? Is it because they truly love someone, or are they doing it to defy the "norm" of same race relationships. Also, if people know the response they will receive in participating in such a relationship, how can they complain about various treatment that they encounter during their relationship?
During a discussion with one of my friends the other day, the subject of "settling" (in terms of relationships) came about. We discussed the ins and outs of reasons why we felt people transfered over to interracial relationships were. In this conversation I realized that "settling" may play a big role in bi-racial relationships. For example, if someone wasn't having any luck in dating peers of the same cultural background, many would be tempted to try something new and different (aka. someone of a different race). Most people begin dating or attempting to date someone of their own race and continue unless no one is found, or if the relationship sours. So if it wasn't the "right" thing to do, why do the majority of people innately date people of the same skin color without being told to? Does this mean that dating outside of the culture is wrong since it is not the "norm?"
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3 comments:
This is an interesting question---I've always rebelled against the idea of "norms" w/in society. Isn't this just one more norm that, within a democratic culture should be ignored?
As I was reading this a funny thought occurred to me. I was sitting in class behind the friend and roommate of a guy I casually saw at the very beginning of the year when it dawned on me, it was a bi-racial relationship. It seems funny to me just because I never thought of it that way until I read your thoughts on it. In all the time I had known and been friends with this guy before we went out, I was obviously aware he was half Pakistani but it never bothered me that he wasn't "as white as me". It honestly never crossed my mind and none of our friends found it strange either. I don't think people go into relationships to defy norms or for that fact any other reason that they would a one-race relationship. You meet someone, you befriend them, and sometime there is an attraction, I don't think it is any harder than that. In this day race isn't as influential.
I definetly think that some people may chose to date outside of their race because they are exploring other options because their own race may not be working for them at the time. However, one must be careful not to generalize this to every circumstance. There are some people who don't start dating people of their own race they actually start dating outside their race and turn to their own because the interracial situation became incomfortable for one reason or another. Usually this uncomfortable situation has nothing to do with the couple but the community they live in or even one or both families involved.
Though I can agree that some people may date outside of their race due to "settling" I don't feel that is necessarily why they marry a person outside of their race. Love truly is blind despite what others may like to believe. I feel that if one marries within or or outside of their race it is not because of color but because of what that person does for them emotionally. Let's face it, we live in the 21st century and while some of us may disagree with "shacking" people do it all the time. It is now seen as a respectable alternative to marriage. If someone was truly only with someone because they were "settling" they would have no reason to feel the need to marry them. Marriage is a result of love as well as an emotional and spiritual connection with that person no matter what their race.
Why can I say all of this? I started dating a white guy my 8th grade year of middle school, we actually feel in love (ok so maybe it was puppy love at the time). We stayed together until 10th grade but a result of his dad's unwillingnes to accept our relationship, I broke it off with him and started dating black guys. Despite this decision I was not happy in any of these relationships and chose to give "color blind love" another chance. As it turns out I ended up dating the same white guy from 8th grade my senior year of HS and I am now very proud to call him my husband. So you see my choice to marry him was not based on color or "settling" but on the fact that this man is truly my soul mate, that's what really matters. I'm sure I'm not the only one this type of experience :)
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